FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
