Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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