i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
