your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So. Much. Porn.
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