Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
