i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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