i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
