Can Purell be used as lube?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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