Quick, to the slutcave!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
