when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
They have beer where we have blood.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
