so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
