Please, let me fuck your mom
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize