I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
