he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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