What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
