btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize