My brain says no but my pants say off.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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