I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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