i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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