glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Did I show you my penis last night?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?