Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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