I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize