Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.