How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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