This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
