Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
