Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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