Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize