If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
