he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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