Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
