she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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