I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
do nipples grow back?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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