I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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