My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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