Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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