Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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