O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
