man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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