Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
