Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
