We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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