I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i would punch a child for taco bell
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .