"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.