I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.