dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish I only lived at night.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My vagina just clenched in fear
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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