On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
