I got chris browned last night
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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