you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize