Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
