i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
