How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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