I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
