Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
