I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
