then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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