im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
