and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
