To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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