I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Couch. On fire.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
