He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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