you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
