Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
