Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The best revenge is premature balding
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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