So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
