WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.