He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?