I got her a Nickelback box set.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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