hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Only a mothe r could love this liver
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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