i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
